What does it mean to care for your heart.
In trying to help market a service called “The Heartwarmer” at work the other day, my mind got to trace the edges of some thoughts that I had tumbled around a long time ago…
“Heart-centered.” “Heart-focused.” “Boundaries.” “Self protection.”
These are all commonalities of the modern human language now, epithets that are spoken in casual conversation without too much though of their meaning, once they’ve left the lips.
Whenever I hear a phrase about healing, the heart, self-care… I get scratchy inside. These are some of the most valuable concepts in all of the human experience, and we throw the terms around as if we are sailors, swearing needlessly about the salty winds upon our face.
The crude notebook photo below depicts a conversation between myself and Nicole, one of the wisest women I’ve ever met. It was her original explanation of this package that led me back to a place that I have spent a lot of time in, perhaps a lifetime ago now though. I can’t say for certain.
My question for her, was how do WE take care of OUR hearts? What can WE do, or what can YOU (as a therapist, a provider, a caretaker) do to take care of my HEART?
That’s such a massive statement to me. To take care of someone’s heart. That’s incredible.
What is a heart center, and how does one even begin to reach into someone else’s chest, or spirit, or pain, or calm, and offer any sense of “healing?”
I broke it all the way back down to “what is the heart, in relation to our being?”
To me, the layout looks something like this:
HEART - The framework. Unabashed freedom for love, giving, care. Unburdened by pain. The plans that we build our homes on.
VALUES - The foundation. From the heart we lay down our value sets. The things that will be the most important and valuable to us in life, both in ourselves and with others.
MIND - The walls, the functions. We start to get into protection and form here. Humans don’t survive long without protection. The frameworks and foundations of ourselves are beautiful, but vulnerable.
CHOICE & SHARING - Windows & doors. We build them into ourselves to make sure we can choose what enters our space, our personhood.
SPIRIT - The roof. When we allow our framework to flow through our foundation and into our home, we become a beacon of light for those who enter it. At some point, our home gets decorated with furniture, if we have cared for our heart. Then people flood in, drawn to the magnetic power of a love that is attended to, and is flourishing. When there is no room left, because we have shared it with so many, we climb to the roof to view the stars, longing for them to see us as ready, and call us home.
Nicole’s answers were thought provoking, profound, engaging, and sincere. One of her many talents is the ability to share in a feeling with another person, I mean REALLY feel.
The genuine way that she shows up in your space with you, is not a choice for her. Her heart is well cared for, by her and many who love her, and though it would seem to me that if I expended energy in this way, it would deplete me of my resources… this level of empathy seems to refill her life force wellspring.
It’s incredible. Just as I flippantly said it would be.
So, don’t take my word for it, because my words know not the depths of the human heart. Not in that way that some hearts can understand it, anyway.
